After I did

I saw and have been experiencing some pain in my shoulders neck and head and belly after reading and watching some thing. These people serious. I know there are some extreme people  out there but I was not prepared for this, but am happy and sad at the same time my head ached from Thursday to Saturday.
I prayed!

After I did  I saw the edge, of extremist and how far they would go.
Now I have more strength today to go a little further. Was I suppose to find out like this, better now then later I guess my choice is still yes. My head neck and shoulder did hurt all the way through my stomach the pain groan.
I wonder what in the world! My choice is still yes. I have count the cost and the cost  and it is worst if I don't  follow his will, depleted resources, dried up river, unhappiness, no more joy, depression, confusion and the rest. I see my cross and I will bare it.
I figure out why in the past I had to go through the fighting stages.