I trusted a police man that is why I moved on that level of trust is not like I did not no or have any standard. I had and they were high, very high and not impossible high at least I know that now that those standards weren't impossible. I still believe that it can be achieve.
It bothers me because I hear people talk about purity and keeping yourself and when they are finished am still torn, what happen to those that did not keep themselves or was violated is all hope gone for them. How can we tie in healing, comfort and hope for both the pure the violated the beaten up ones, without leaving out one or the other.
It dawned on me no wonder the people that have had sexual relationships before and gave their life to God still have their heads hanging, when God said any man be in Christ is a new creature. People should not feel the guilt of past sins once they have truly repented because of your words after you have finished speaking. The only guilty ones should be those that are still committing their acts.
You may say it's self guilt you have not truly forgiven or gotten over your past hurts deeds etc. I have to say really now.....I don't think so
To be more honest The Lord said to me I am more pure than before, that is what i heard during my healing periods.
When I was physically a virgin I was arrogant I would tell everybody if that conversation arises. I was very proud to be that old and have my virginity, and i would hear the snares of other girls and women saying it was not true can't be so old and have it now a days that don't happen and oh that I think I am miss perfect.
Even the old ones and i really mean old ones this eighty something years old woman told me I can't go back to God like that, and I need to loosen up, along with other things and still cuss me out because of my authenticity of being a Christian. Well now I know I was not fighting flesh but something else principalities and powers.
We as humans have to be careful not to allow and or give our self up to be used by satan to detour someone from going right to go wrong all because of jealousy, envy grudge etc.
In my rules there is not suppose to be touching in terms of touching here touching there or every where. I advocate group dating/socializing I always believed in group socializing with the opposite sex.
And I was told that by church forks that i think am miss perfect, and I really tried to be for real i literally have dating rules write out, I still have them today, am not going to throw them away.
This eighty yrs old plus woman was a church going woman she said she is a christian, she was around where i was working at the time and conversation strikes up and I do enjoy communicating my thoughts, opinions beliefs, information, ideas etc and I always hear, old people have sound advice wisdom and I swallowed that advice. Well not anymore I weigh out them old people sayings.
I don't know if arrogant can be a good thing when i say i was arrogant but in the sense i was really proud to be that old and have my virginity, but i was not arrogant in pointing out people faults i was proud really I was and I had a goal to let the whole world know that there are young ladies out there that can keep themselves.
You don't know this because I did not say it, after that night he said and before too that is why I broke it off i felt if some one can say those things they ain't real or don't have your best interest at heart. He said, he use to watch me before going to work and coming from work he called me miss perfect I think am miss perfect because I have my virginity, and no one has theirs but me.
It's bothering me is this person human or have demonic influence. I can remember every detail or almost every detail even the most painful ones.
Now with everyone and everything around me saying and telling me you are getting old you need to loosen up believers that are suppose to be the light are living two set of life and nothing is happening to them they getting away free as a bird. One time I took the chance to go out, way out because I had to travel to get to where i was, so that is why I said way out. The second time we meet I was raped. The perfect storm.
Everything every person in my life at that time contributed to the perfect storm. It was a set up!
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