I was at a meeting last year in October and I was very traumatized by what had happened to me in March 2010. Well I attended the meeting it was SOME meeting. The direction I was going, was becoming a realist. I still believed in God but just to accept that bad things happens to good people and kind people are weak and the strong will survive, and that this is the way of life and just to accept and stick to my self.
Well at the meeting for three days, the man of god did not pick me out of the crowd, nor did he lay hands on me; well he sort of did he rest his hand on my shoulder to excuse me out the way to go and speak to someone else about the very same thing I was believing God for even the colour of that thing he mentioned, I was furious; but God I have to say this again but God He met me there.
I have a friend and she asked me to carry and seed up for her because she was not going to be able to make on that day, so I did on that day I was too the front of a horizontal line and the man passed over me and he prayed and laid his hands on every one at the altar except for me, I was devastated and mad I said right at the altar, "Lord take my life I don't want to live anymore do you have any idea what am feeling whats wrong with me am I that bad." I felt the tears coming down, I don't know if you want to call it pride but I meant no one is going to see me crying.
I wiped my eyes every time I felt the tears running down, I sucked it in.
I wiped my eyes every time I felt the tears running down, I sucked it in.
I felt embarrassed "Lord what's wrong with me I am the one here hurting." I even thought the seed I was holding was a bad seed. Oh how I had thoughts I just gave up there and then and I heard the Spirit of the Lord said Finally broken, but good. Here is the funny thing the topic the man of God had for that day was 'rejection come to give new direction.'
Well on my way home a song was playing in my head, well I was still mad I did not like the song and I said song stop I felt the song was not appropriate I don't want to hear that song now with a course tone of voice, I felt the Holy spirit grieved it was not a nice feeling at all I believed that is what David felt when he wrote the psalms "create in me a clean heart oh lord renew a right spirit within cast me not away from thy presence oh lord take not your Holy Spirit from me restore unto me the joy of my salvation."
When that was even worst feeling to have felt, I went on my knees and I started to speak to him repent for grieving His Spirit, up to this day the tune of the song does not come to me however I know the words. On my knees though I heard it again, 'Broken But Good' I finally surrendered I could not go any further. So many of us think that for God to speak and deliver us it has to come through a man, and you know the whole works, in truth God wants us to have an experience a personal experience with him.
Well on my way home a song was playing in my head, well I was still mad I did not like the song and I said song stop I felt the song was not appropriate I don't want to hear that song now with a course tone of voice, I felt the Holy spirit grieved it was not a nice feeling at all I believed that is what David felt when he wrote the psalms "create in me a clean heart oh lord renew a right spirit within cast me not away from thy presence oh lord take not your Holy Spirit from me restore unto me the joy of my salvation."
When that was even worst feeling to have felt, I went on my knees and I started to speak to him repent for grieving His Spirit, up to this day the tune of the song does not come to me however I know the words. On my knees though I heard it again, 'Broken But Good' I finally surrendered I could not go any further. So many of us think that for God to speak and deliver us it has to come through a man, and you know the whole works, in truth God wants us to have an experience a personal experience with him.
WE DO NEED THE MEN AND WOMEN OF GOD IN OUR LIVES TO HELP AND DIRECT US STILL! I thank God for his grace and mercy and his love. I finally know how to surrender to him, why surrendering takes such a long time, because we refuse to give him everything and do it everyday.
There is a lot of details missing from this but I hope you may understand what am saying.
It's all about The King, KING JESUS! LONG LIVE THE KING MUAH!
I respect that man of God, he was just following directions from above. God needed to do that one up close and personal.
It is not like I never had an encounter before actually I had many encounters and dreams but that season I was in was something, OY! That season was a compromising distracting season, also where you trying to make it in your effort your works and wrong decisions upon more worst ones.
He showed me my future and I liked it and I decide am going to live there. The song was about my future, how many times we get caught into our present situation and feel all hope is gone, Jesus is alive once He lives there will always be hope and He is living forever and He needs you, me and all of us still to get closer for there is so much more, so much more.
In November 2009 I had a dream I entered into a room not to dark, there was a person siting down in a chair, all of a sudden lights bright lights and glow of fire on the person and the small figure started to get tall, I was scared in my dream, I started to rebuke the devil and speak in tongues the person said Be Ye holy as I am holy over and over I fell to my knees and I woke up. In march four days before I dream the thing that happen to me I had some warnings that I did not pay attention too. Oh Jesus! God is always speaking we need to listen to him and let his will become our will in our lives, you will see a big difference.
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